(First published July 2018) Updated November 2024, October 2025.
The Problem
I depend on pleasure to distract me from huge tension triggered by my decisions.
Page 2 of 3
Updated April 10-14, 2024, January 27, 2025, October 2025
(See short and ultra-short versions far below.)
The Problem
I have to clean. It’s the last thing I want to do. Have to, want to. Enemies. The opposite ends of my conundrum. A conundrum is: a decision made difficult by opposite and equal choices; a dilemma.
Back story: I’m in the middle of a want-to activity, and the pleasure of momentum it creates. Then I remember I have to clean. Momentum lost. Ouch! I immediately check to see if I feel like doing the clean. Nope. Okay, I begin to search for something that creates that want-to/feel-like urge I just lost. This immediately makes me uptight; because I’m now being pulled back and forth in my head, between two opposing fears. On one side, fear of losing a want-to, say, any pleasure, by doing a have-to, clean. On the other side, fear of losing a have-to, clean, by doing a want-to, say, eat. I’m trying to have it both ways: feeling like doing something that can’t create feeling like doing something. The pull from each side creates wicked tension. I need to stop it. I need to get relief.
Updated April 15, 2024; January 19, 2025; October 10, 2025; November 27, 2025
(Short version far below)
The Problem
I’m thinking of a list of what to eat. I come to the end of the list. Now I need to change from picturing the different foods to choosing one. Yikes! I can’t make the change, the transition, to choosing.
Last checked for editing: January 22/2025. None needed. So far, it’s timeless.
I’m always hearing I have to learn to be less anxious. But it’s all wrong. I was born this way. And I can’t unlearn it. So I don’t need to tell myself not to be afraid. That just makes it worse and adds guilt that I failed to stop the fear. Now I’m afraid of being afraid.
And there’s more.
Is:
- Is a sequence of statements I learn and repeat to myself whenever I’m anxious (anxiety is: more fear than I should feel for this situation, or fear that continues when the event that triggered the fear has passed).
- Is a way to turn my anxiety off in any moment, so I can be my true self in that moment.
- Is a way to change. If I do it a lot, I will stop doing a lot of the stuff I want to stop, and discover new stuff I should stop.
Isn’t:
Updated April 21, 2024; December 5, 2024; January 19, 2025; October 2025
The Problem
I procrastinate, which means I put off doing things. “Later baby. That’s my motto.” I even do it with the littlest things, like going to bed. It has ruined my life in so many ways.
Updated April 20, 2024, and Dec 18, 2024
The Problem
I try to change your mind out of your lazy consideration of me. And I fail. And it hurts a lot.
The above problem unpacked
Updated November 27, 2024
The Problem
Whenever I feel happy, I immediately find fault with it/second guess it/attack it/oppose it.
Update completed November 12, 2025
I have a negative feeling. My response: I fight it. I oppose it. I treat it as a problem, which triggers my brain to solve it. Fighting is a type of solving. Opposing is a type of solving. Solving is a type of opposing. I can call my response whatever I want. But if the response is anything other than observing it, I’m solving it, usually by fighting it.
If my response to a negative feeling it to fight it, that is, if I have a problem-solving response (psr) to it, the negative feeling comes back. For example, if I try not to be angry, I get more angry. If I try not to feel the pain of failure, I feel it more. Why? Why can’t I control my feelings?
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