Updated April 10-14, 2024, January 27, 2025
The Problem
I have to clean. It’s the last thing I want to do. Have to, want to. Enemies. The opposite ends of my conundrum. A conundrum is a decision made difficult by opposite and equal choices, a dilemma.
Back story: I’m in the middle of a want-to activity, and the pleasure of momentum it creates. Then I remember I have to do the clean. Momentum lost. Ouch! I immediately check to see if I felt like doing the clean. Nope. Okay, I begin to search for something that creates that want-to/feel-like urge I just lost. This immediately makes me uptight; because I’m now being pulled back and forth in my head, between two opposing fears. On one side, fear of losing a want-to, say, any pleasure, by doing a have-to, clean. On the other side, fear of losing a have-to, clean, by doing a want-to, eat. I’m trying to have it both ways: feeling like doing something that can’t create feeling like it. The pull from each side creates wicked tension. I need to stop it. I need to get relief.
Recent Comments