The "easiest" way to change
Last checked for editing: January 22/2025. None needed. It’s timeless.
I’m always hearing I have to learn to be less anxious. But it’s all wrong. I was born this way. And I can’t unlearn it. So I don’t need to tell myself not to be afraid. That just makes it worse and adds guilt that I failed to stop the fear. Now I’m afraid of being afraid.
And there’s more.
Is:
Isn’t:
Updated April 21, 2024; December 5, 2024; January 19, 2025;
I procrastinate, which means I put off doing things. “Later baby. That’s my motto.” I even do it with the littlest things, like going to bed. It has ruined my life in so many ways.
I try to change your mind out of your lazy consideration of me. And I fail. And it hurts a lot.
The above problem unpacked
Updated November 27, 2024
Whenever I feel happy, I immediately find fault with it/second guess it/attack it/oppose it.
Why does negative emotion stay in my brain way too long. and fight back if I fight it, that is, if I have a problem-solving response (psr) to it? For example, if I try not to be angry, I get more angry. Same with the pain of failure.
Updated May 9/2024, March 6/2025, May 9/2025
I don’t need to know why the Seeing Sequence works in order to do it. While I want to know why, understanding will not, at all, help me change, or make me work at change.
See Summary below for the short version.
The main “why” thing to know is this: Ignoring is the pivotal event in my life.
The Problem
I don’t believe helping others is a problem. I’m just naturally generous. I love solving other people’s problems: helping them out, offering advice, giving them things. I do it even if they aren’t asking me to. I feel tense if I don’t. And I feel hurt, baffled, even angry if they refuse my help.
Not upbringing, not experiences. Instead, psr’s. Psr = inappropriate or imaginary problem solving response. It’s not real solving of real stuff. Ipsr is too long and doesn’t roll off the tongue well, so … psr – problem solving response.
The Problem
You’re shy. As a result you’re temporarly blocked from trying to connect to me. It triggers in me boredom, then detached amateur analysis, then, worst of all, doing the work of connecting for you.
Not upbringing, not experiences. Instead, psr’s. Psr = inappropriate or imaginary problem solving response. It’s not real solving of real stuff. Ipsr is too long and doesn’t roll off the tongue well, so … psr – problem solving response.
The Problem
I attack my creative thoughts. Just like I attack my happiness.
The attacks take the form of finding a flaw, especially the flaw that my creative thought will fail – predicting failure.
Another way of describing this: I edit my creative thoughts in order to solve my fear created by my predicting failure.
I do this so often, I think it’s normal editing. But it isn’t, because normal editing is solving real faults that lead to improvement that leads to externalizing. Psr editing solves imaginary faults after I’ve already solved the real ones. It leads me to externalizing prs’s instead of my true response.
Not upbringing, not experiences. Instead, psr’s. Psr = inappropriate or imaginary problem solving response. It’s not real solving of real stuff. Ipsr is too long and doesn’t roll off the tongue well, so … psr – problem solving response.
The Problem
I attack my memory and convince myself it must be wrong.
Result:
Not upbringing, not experiences. Instead, psr’s. Psr = inappropriate or imaginary problem solving response. It’s not real solving of real stuff. Ipsr is too long and doesn’t roll off the tongue well, so … psr.
I have been hurt by you more than you would ever imagine. It’s not that you can’t imagine my pain. It’s that you won’t and will do everything you can not to, as you always have.
The only thing that eases my pain is fantasies of revenge. In these fantasies, I hurt you as much and more than you hurt me. But my relief is quickly followed by images of you countering my efforts and hurting me again.
My pain has kept coming back into my days and nights.
The Problem
I’m thinking of death. I makes me feel relief. That scares me. What’s wrong with me?
The Problem
This glass I just drank from, still in my hand, I think of washing.
Predictions of failure immediately come into my mind: failure to wash in one easy try, or it will be boring, or I’ll have to waste time drying my hands, or all of these one after the other.
I drop things, spill things, bump into things, break things, choke on things and misplace things. I’m clumsy. I never thought of myself that way until someone told me. Then I saw it in all movement that I didn’t need to pay close attention to. I could climb any tree, walk on any roof without mishap. But I couldn’t wash dishes without bumping them, without splattering the water, without occasionally breaking one.
The Problem
I get angry too easily and I stay angry too long. Sometimes I take it too far, always to my regret.
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