Updated November 29, 2025, Feb2/26
(Short versions far below)
The Problem
I’m thinking of death. I makes me feel relief. That scares me. What’s wrong with me?
The Cause
Not upbringing, not experiences. Instead, psr’s. Psr = inappropriate or imaginary problem solving response. It’s not real solving of real stuff. Ipsr is too long and doesn’t roll off the tongue well, so … psr.
The Solution, The Change
Bitch and complain (also called “flow” or “flow-with” the psr’s, often many times (instructions are in the examples below). The repetitions build a memory center that pulls my focus into it. While there, I don’t oppose myself by finding fault with every thought that forms my true response/my decision. Instead, I simply externalize it.
Good to know:
- While my mind can go blank more than a few times in a day, most of the time my mind produces a constant stream of thoughts and feelings. This stream causes many distractions, all day every day. In order to survive, (that means not die), I need to be good at ignoring them.
- All loss, no matter how small, causes pain. That pain is the feeling called grief. Thus, loss causes grief.
- Since failure causes loss of what I was trying to achieve, the loss caused by failure causes grief. The most important failure in daily life is the failure to ignore the distractions that appear at the end of my thought that forms my true response, my decision. I call the grief triggered by my failing to ignore distractions,”the pain of failing to ignore”.
- Everyone is born with a different intensity of the pain of failing to ignore.
- If my pain of failing to ignore is strong, I am naturally afraid of it. The appearance in my mind of a decision triggers the need to ignore distractions. Failing to ignore them triggers my high pain of failing to ignore, which triggers my fear of that pain. As a result, I’m afraid of making any decision. When my fear of making a decision appears, I’m compelled to solve the fear. So, I search for the cause of my fear. I find that the cause is problems – faults – with the decision and I solve those faults. Solving gets me the positive feeling of relief. Relief replaces my fear and so distracts me from the pain of failing to ignore. The result: I’m always editing (looking for and solving flaws), in other words, problem-solving, the thought that forms my decision. I edit in order to get relief from my normal fear of this abnormally high pain.
- One of these edits/problem-solving responses (psr’s) to a decision is the fantasy that the feeling of relief will make me feel like acting, feel motivated to act, on my decision. (Here lieth the source of the world’s fruitless search for motivation.) But it doesn’t work. As soon as I solve one problem, a new one appears. In fact, solving signals my brain that I want to do more solving, so I can get more relief. So, it brings me more problems. Quickly, the problem solving gains momentum, and grows out of my control until it becomes frightening and snaps me out of it. I call this constant line of psr’s “fear driven seeking of relief” or “second guessing” or “obsessing” or “bad momentum” about my decision. It’s the outcome of trying to feel like acting on my decision.
- If my pain of failing to ignore is weak, I’m not afraid of it. Therefore, my brain doesn’t produce anxiety – an abnormal fear of a normal situation, and other psr’s that mess around with my decision. I’m free to focus on externalizing it by matching my actions to the image of me acting -my action image, that’s in my mind.
- All emotions, including the grief caused by loss of anything, big or small, will keep coming back if opposed. To solve grief, including by avoiding grief, is to oppose it. As a result, solving grief causes it to come back.
- All my problems are caused by me trying to solve/oppose the pain of failing to ignore. Culture says I should fix this pain. My brain says I should feel it, that is, suffer it, and see how it won’t harm me if I do. This will make me ignore it by moving my focus onward to seeing and externalizing my true response/my decision. I externalize by matching my actions to the action image of my decision.
The Seeing Sequence is the sequence of bitching and complaining /flow/deconstructing psr’s in order to see my true response. It gets me to stop believing my psr’s which gets me to stop trying to solve the pain of failing to ignore. As a result, the pain, like all emotion, runs out by itself, most often in bits, not all at once. A good almost must-read: Why the Seeing Sequence works.
(NB (nota bene, Latin for note well): words below, that are in brackets or separated by forward slashes, mean I can choose from several wordings, or the words are instructions, or blanks to fill in that fit my own experience.)
How to Bitch and Complain/Flow with/Deconstruct Psr’s using the following Example List
1. Imagining death happening to me while I’m not sad
2.Imagining I cause my death on purpose, even though I’m not sad
3. My coming actual death
4. Imagining death while I’m sad
Example 1
Imagining death while I’m not sad
Step 1
Pick the thought or feeling I think is a psr. Optional: A useful guide is this page of the website: The Database of Psr’s
For example, I’m sad that I can’t live forever and that everybody dies eventually.
Classify my emotional response to the psr using three simple classes:
“good me” for feelings that are positive (pleasure) or for feelings that I imagine will solve things fast (anger always comes with the fantasy that I can shake up the environment into going my way),
“bad me” for hurting or judging myself.
“poor me” for fear and for feeling sorry for myself.
(NB. I decide on how many psr’s I want to b and c (bitch and complain). It could be just one, or I could do all of them until they stop coming. The more I practice, the closer I get to one, then a ghost of one, then often none. The number of practices is like learning to walk, or to play a musical instrument, or to play a sport well or to cook food well, or do anything well. It’s a large number. )
Like this
Good me, I check how long famous dead people lived.
I want to know what they died of so I can make sure I don’t have the same thing. Good me.
Good me, I study people who put off going to a doctor and later died of a disease, like heart disease or cancer.
Poor me, I’m afraid I’ll do the same.
Poor me, whenever I’m sick, I’m afraid I will die.
Good me, I don’t wait to see if sickness or pain will go away by itself. I go to a doctor.
Poor me, I’m afraid of flying, heights and speed.
Bad me, predicting the worst case scenario that I’ll crash or fall and be killed.
Poor me, I’m afraid of falling asleep because I might not wake up. (“And if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.”)
(There’s more but I decide that’s enough for now.)
Step 2
The reversal: (find the cause of the psr’s, not by asking why, but by imagining what I would see if I didn’t do psr’s to myself.)
Because poor me if I didn’t (scare myself by jumping to the worst case scenario: death),
I’m afraid I’ll see I’m in the pain of failing to ignore distractions, (which occur at the end of my thought that forms my true response; that wording is coming below)
namely, the delay in the pleasure of getting over the grief from the loss
of momentum caused by the end of what I was just doing:
(which was) _______ .”
(
I fill this in using one of five possible “endings”. If I don’t know which one to choose, I can guess.
Endings
1) “the end of what I was just doing, (which was): imagining my action image if I see all the parts of it, or previewing my action image if I see a quick glimpse before I work out the parts”.
Examples:
All parts – doing something I’ve practised many times.
Quick glimpse: I see myself putting down a chopping knife just before I come to the end of using it, but my work surface is crowded and I haven’t yet looked for a place to put it.
2) “the end of what I was just doing (which was): trying and failing to match my action to my action image“.
Example: My failing to look at an object all the way to my reaching for it and grasping it.
3) “the end of what I was just doing (which was): feeling my happiness/satisfaction about my success (at forming and externalizing my true response, in other words, “at matching my action to my action image)”
Example: I look where I’m reaching for an object that’s not easy to hold onto, like twigs to start a cooking fire.
Or “feeling happy/satisfied/content about what just came into my mind without me trying”. This happiness is more passive than me matching my true response. It’s just experiencing, that is, enjoying, receiving/observing-not-solving, not editing, not perfecting, not putting my mark on, what the environment or my mind gives me that fits me and therefore triggers pleasure.
Example 1: something beautiful coming into my view. For this the wording is “the end of what I was just doing: enjoying seeing beauty, or feeling lucky (seeing beauty”.
Example 2: While observing a situation, usually a real problem, I get a bright idea about how to understand it or how to solve it, or both. I use this wording: “the end of what I was just doing: feeling happy that a bright idea popped into my mind.”
4) “the end of what I was just doing (which was): experiencing or observing a problem (or something that is different from what fits me), that I can’t solve now or have no business solving even if I could, or both.”
(Four Examples from an endless list:)
a) observing your lazy consideration (about what you know I need you to consider). (Example: your anger at me for being independent of you.)
b) observing your disapproval. Example: my shun of your lazy consideration.
c) observing your fear of making the transition on your own from awake to falling asleep; and your attempts to get me to fix that fear for you.
d) experiencing a coincidence that doesn’t fit me (bad luck, such as an accident, or anything I have no interest in, like most distractions): This ending is similar to 2) above in that the end is a failure. But the difference is that it’s a failure of the environment to go my way, while 2) is my failure to make myself go my way.
5) the end of what I was just doing (which was): being in a blank, (a state of no thought or feeling).”
A blank occurs when:
a) I don’t know or can’t remember what to think when I need to find an answer. This could be before I’ve tried to figure it out or after I’ve run out of ideas. Example: a math equation.
b) I finish a feeling, say happiness, that isn’t a psr. Or I finish matching my action to my action image, and I haven’t decided what to do next.
Example: A common sequence in me: a blank; then the psr “predicting failure” predicts the blank will fail to be brief; that causes fear which is another psr; then a third psr: fix the fear in the quickest way I can think of – repeat what I just finished thinking or saying. Thus, I often repeat myself to fill in blanks.
)
(End of endings, now continuing with bnc)
(I choose) observing a problem I can’t solve now: uncertainty about _________ (anything) (in this moment, uncertainty about when death will come.
At the end of my thought that forms my true response:
I’m already dead inside about this act of ignoring. (Dead inside means I don’t at all feel like ignoring)
But I have to ignore anyway (if I want to get my true response,out there, which is to not die right now).
So start ignoring the delay by moving my focus on to
(ignoring is done by focusing on something other than the thing I want to ignore)(I want to ignore the delay in getting over grief, so I focus on something – observing uncertainty – other than the delay in getting over grief )
mechanically (which means without feeling like it/without motivation)
(externalizing my true response/decision by matching my action to the action image of my decision/true response)
______.”(I describe the action image of my true response)
observing this problem I can’t solve now, uncertainty, and then moving on to what I can solve now.
Step 3
Wait to see what comes into my mind.
Wait to see what comes into my mind next.
If another psr, repeat Steps 1 and 2 until: psr’s stop, or I decide to stop, or I run out of time and have to do something else.
If my true response, I naturally (which means in first-party observing self/un-self-consciously/without stepping outside myself/without thinking)
______ ( I describe my true response)
observe the uncertainty and then ignore it by moving my focus onward. As part of my observing, I see I don’t need to solve uncertainty to make me feel like observing and moving on to what I can solve now.
Short version:
psrs: poor me, preoccupied with fear of death
distraction: delay (in the pleasure of) getting over grief from loss of momentum
end of what I was just doing: observing a problem I can’t solve now: uncertainty of when death will arrive,
true response: focus on _______(just move on)
Repeat all until I do it.
Example 2:
Cause my own death even though I’m not sad or mad.
Pick the thought or feeling I think is a psr. (Optional: A useful guide is this page on the website: The Database of Psr’s)
I’m imagining causing my own death while I’m failing to fall asleep.
Classify my emotional response to the psr using three simple classes:
“good me” for feelings that are positive (pleasure) or for feelings that I imagine will solve things fast (anger always comes with the fantasy that I can shake up the environment into going my way),
“bad me” for hurting or judging myself.
“poor me” for fear and for feeling sorry for myself.
Like this
Bad me, I’m imagining causing my own death.
I’m good at coming up with different ways. Good me.
Good me, I keep editing/perfecting the ways.
I tell myself I won’t do it. Good me.
Poor me, people I tell this to, try to understand and help me stop it, but it doesn’t work.
Poor me, here I go again!
Step 2
The reversal.
Because poor me if I didn’t (attack myself like this for my failure to fall asleep),
I’m afraid I’ll see I’m in the pain of failing to ignore distractions, (which occur at the end of my thought that forms my true response; that wording is coming below)
namely, the delay in the pleasure of getting over the grief from the loss
of momentum caused by the end of what I was just doing:
(which was)______.
(
I fill this in using one of five possible “endings”. If I don’t know which one to choose, I can guess.
Endings
1) “the end of what I was just doing, (which was): imagining my action image if I see all the parts of it, or previewing my action image if I see a quick glimpse before I work out the parts”.
Examples:
All parts – doing something I’ve practised many times.
Quick glimpse: I see myself putting down a chopping knife just before I come to the end of using it, but my work surface is crowded and I haven’t yet looked for a place to put it.
2) “the end of what I was just doing (which was): trying and failing to match my action to my action image“.
Example: My failing to look at an object all the way to my reaching for it and grasping it.
3) “the end of what I was just doing (which was): feeling my happiness/satisfaction about my success (at forming and externalizing my true response, in other words, “at matching my action to my action image)”
Example: I look where I’m reaching for an object that’s not easy to hold onto, like twigs to start a cooking fire.
Or “feeling happy/satisfied/content about what just came into my mind without me trying”. This happiness is more passive than me matching my true response. It’s just experiencing, that is, enjoying, receiving/observing-not-solving, not editing, not perfecting, not putting my mark on, what the environment or my mind gives me that fits me and therefore triggers pleasure.
Example 1: something beautiful coming into my view. For this the wording is “the end of what I was just doing: enjoying seeing beauty, or feeling lucky (seeing beauty”.
Example 2: While observing a situation, usually a real problem, I get a bright idea about how to understand it or how to solve it, or both. I use this wording: “the end of what I was just doing: feeling happy that a bright idea popped into my mind.”
4) “the end of what I was just doing (which was): experiencing or observing a problem (or something that is different from what fits me), that I can’t solve now or have no business solving even if I could, or both.”
(Four Examples from an endless list:)
a) observing your lazy consideration (about what you know I need you to consider). (Example: your anger at me for being independent of you.)
b) observing your disapproval. Example: my shun of your lazy consideration.
c) observing your fear of making the transition on your own from awake to falling asleep; and your attempts to get me to fix that fear for you.
d) experiencing a coincidence that doesn’t fit me (bad luck, such as an accident, or anything I have no interest in, like most distractions): This ending is similar to 2) above in that the end is a failure. But the difference is that it’s a failure of the environment to go my way, while 2) is my failure to make myself go my way.
5) the end of what I was just doing (which was): being in a blank, (a state of no thought or feeling).”
A blank occurs when:
a) I don’t know or can’t remember what to think when I need to find an answer. This could be before I’ve tried to figure it out or after I’ve run out of ideas. Example: a math equation.
b) I finish a feeling, say happiness, that isn’t a psr. Or I finish matching my action to my action image, and I haven’t decided what to do next.
Example: A common sequence in me: a blank; then the psr “predicting failure” predicts the blank will fail to be brief; that causes fear which is another psr; then a third psr: fix the fear in the quickest way I can think of – repeat what I just finished thinking or saying. Thus, I often repeat myself to fill in blanks.
)
(End of endings, now continuing with bnc)
(I choose): trying and failing to match my action to my action image: I just failed to observe-not-solve in my attempt to get drowsy.
At the end of my thought that forms my true response:
I’m already dead inside about this act of ignoring. (Dead inside means I don’t at all feel like ignoring)
But I have to ignore anyway (if I want to my true response out there),
So start ignoring the delay by focusing on
(ignoring is done by focusing on something other than the thing I want to ignore)(I want to ignore the delay in getting over grief, so I focus on something – my true response- other than the delay in getting over grief )
mechanically trying again to observe-don’t-solve by just looking at what came into my mind. Unless it’s a psr, then I start b and c over.
Step 3
Wait to see what comes into my mind.
If another psr, repeat Steps 1 and 2, until psr’s stop or until I have run out of time and have to do something else.
If my true response, I will naturally externalize it: try again and again to observe-don’t-solve, as if I’m watching or reading something really boring, until I get drowsy. The key is not to change, that is edit, or put my mark on, what comes into my mind.
Short version:
psrs: bad me, self-attacks in form of causing my own death.
poor me, caught in the bad momentum of editing the methods
distraction: delay (in the pleasure of) getting over grief from loss of momentum
end of what I was just doing: failing to fall asleep by failing to observe-don’t-solve
true response: focus on _______(keep trying)
Repeat all until I do it.
For examples of observing and not solving what might come into my mind, see the bottom of The Seeing Sequence Meets me not able to sleep
Example 3
My coming actual death
Step 1
Pick the thought or feeling I think is a psr. Optional: A useful guide is this page on the website: The Database of Psr’s
I calculate, really, I’m guessing, that I have about a months worth of heartbeats left until my heart runs out of energy and stops beating,
Classify my emotional response to the psr using three simple classes:
“good me” for feelings that are positive (pleasure) or for feelings that I imagine will solve things fast (anger always comes with the fantasy that I can shake up the environment into going my way),
“bad me” for hurting or judging myself.
“poor me” for fear and for feeling sorry for myself.
Like this
I’m going to die. I’m going to lose my life. Poor me.
Poor me, I’m in a panic.
Bad me self-attack using the worst-case scenario that I’ll lose control: of my emotions, or of my bodily functions, or of how much pain I’ll feel.
Good me I don’t want to go through my last moments alone.
Good me, tie up loose ends before I can’t.
Poor me, there are too many to finish.
Good me, I hated loose ends when I had more time and good me, I hate them now.
Poor me, regrets coming in (to my mind).
Good me, I don’t want to leave a mess for others to clean up.
Poor me, I’ve accumulated too big a mess to clean up myself.
Good me, trying to see the positive side of life.
Poor me, what life? There’s none left!
Step 2
The reversal
Because poor me if I didn’t ( feel sorry for myself ),
I’m afraid I’ll see I’m in the pain of failing to ignore distractions, (which occur at the end of my thought that forms my true response; that wording is coming below)
namely, the delay in the pleasure of getting over the grief from the loss
of momentum caused by the end of what I was just doing:
(which was) observing a problem I can’t solve now: the coming of my death,
At the end of my thought that forms my true response:
I’m already dead inside about this act of ignoring. (Dead inside means I don’t at all feel like ignoring)
But I have to ignore anyway (if I want to get my true response out there).
So start ignoring the delay by focusing on
mechanically observing this problem I can’t solve now (coming death) and then moving on to what I can solve now or to observing something else that leads to me to what I can solve/do now.
Step 3
Wait to see what comes into my mind.
If another psr, repeat Steps 1 and 2 until: psr’s stop, or I decide to stop, or I run out of time and have to do something else.
If my true response, I naturally (which means in first-party observing self/un-self-consciously/without stepping outside myself/without thinking)
______ ( I describe my true response)
observe and move on to what I can solve now.
Short version:
psrs: poor me, afraid and feeling sorry for myself
distraction: delay (in the pleasure of) getting over grief from loss of momentum
end of what I was just doing: observing this problem I can’t solve now
true response: focus on _______( observe and move on to what I can solve now )
Repeat all until I do it.
Example 4
Imagining death while I’m sad
Step 1 Pick the thought or feeling I think is a psr. Optional: A useful guide is this page on the website: The Database of Psr’s
I’m imagining death while I’m sad.
Classify my emotional response to the psr using three simple classes:
“good me” for feelings that are positive (pleasure) or for feelings that I imagine will solve things fast (anger always comes with the fantasy that I can shake up the environment into going my way),
“bad me” for hurting or judging myself.
“poor me” for fear and for feeling sorry for myself.
Like this
Bad me, predicting failure of this sadness to ever go away.
Poor me I’m picturing myself dying in an accident, or from an illness, or from just wasting away.
Good me, I’m angry that I’m sad and can’t get any relief.
Poor me, anger doesn’t help. Nothing helps.
I just want to feel happiness. Good me.
Good me, I’ve given up trying.
Good me, I picture ending my pain, and humiliation, and my never ending self-judgment, by turning my brain off and never coming back.
Good me, I see that the relief I feel from this fantasy is a good feeling.
Good me, maybe I should fantasize death more often to cheer myself up.
Good me, I’ve explored ways to do it and I like some ways more than others.
Good me, there’s another positive feeling: liking something.
Poor me, weird that I can still feel good, but only with the fantasy that I can get rid of all this sadness on one try.
Good me, I like the fantasy of being a goth, one who is preoccupied with death.
Good me, I would like other things to make me feel good; things other than relief from sadness.
Good me, how do I love thee relief. Let me count the ways: relief from a full bladder or bowel, relief from hunger and thirst, relief from sleepiness and physical tiredness, relief from doing boring stuff, relief from work, relief from loneliness.
Poor me, I’m afraid I won’t keep sadness away,
That’s predicting failure. Bad me.
Bad me, fantasized standard that I have to keep sadness away by constantly pursuing happiness.
Poor me, why doesn’t that work for me?
Good me, I see that pursuing pleasure gets old fast.
And bad me, I’m editing endlessly about sources of relief until I’m in bad momentum/fear driven seeking of relief
Good me, I hate it when my brain works like this.
Step 2
The reversal
Because poor me if I didn’t (try to solve my sadness in one try),
I’m afraid I’ll see I’m in the pain of failing to ignore distractions,
namely, the delay in the pleasure of getting over the grief from the loss
of momentum caused by the end of what I was just doing:
(which was) observing a problem I can’t solve now: ________ (my sadness).
At the end of my thought that forms my true response:
I’m already dead inside about this act of ignoring. (Dead inside means I don’t at all feel like ignoring)
But I have to ignore anyway (if I want to get my true response out there,) which is what to do with my life in this moment, since I’m not in the act of ending it).
So start ignoring the delay by focusing on
(ignoring is done by focusing on something other than the thing I want to ignore)(I want to ignore the delay in getting over grief, so I focus on something – observing my sadness – other than the delay in getting over grief )
mechanically observing this problem I can’t solve now (sad) until I’ve seen enough and then moving on to what I can solve now or to observing something else that leads me to what I can solve/do now, since I’m still alive.
Step 3
Wait to see what comes into my mind next.
If another psr, repeat Steps 1 and 2 until: psr’s stop, or I decide to stop, or I run out of time and have to do something else.
If my true response, I naturally (which means in first-party observing self/un-self-consciously/without stepping outside myself/without thinking)
______ ( I describe my true response)
For example: I return to whatever I was doing before the psr’s came in.
Or: I notice that a small sadness sometimes brings thoughts of death and a big sadness doesn’t. So it’s not how strong my sadness is that triggers the thoughts of death. It’s how much I think I can control my sadness. Big sadness I can’t control so I don’t try; little sadness I think I can control so I do try. Either way, I need to b and c that thought of controlling sadness.
Or, put all that simple quiet relief together, and even more times it happens, and I have a life I might want to live for now. So what next to do with that life, since I am, after all, still in it?
Or: I’m just relieved, that by myself, I finally stopped, with b and c, that uncontrolled momentum of negative thoughts and feelings, alternating with positive thoughts and feelings of ending the negative momentum on one try.
Or: I don’t want to stop my movement toward anything because I was distracted by a psr like death. I want to stop because stopping is my true response. That looks hard to do. But what choice do I have if I’m still in life in this moment. Still being here means I want to move toward something in this short time ahead of me, in this moment.
Short version:
psrs: bad me, predicting failure, of sadness to away
good me, get rid of sadness all at once
distraction: delay (in the pleasure of) getting over grief from loss of momentum
end of what I was just doing: observing a problem I can’t solve now, my sadness/my not feeling good in response to what should make me feel good.
true response: focus on _______( observe the lack of positive feeling to stuff that should trigger a positive feeling and move on to solving what I can solve now)
Repeat all until I do it.
Postscript
Reminder 1 to self:
To b and c or not to b and c. That is the question. To b and c is to suffer the frustration of missing the starting signal – a psr, an astonishingly large number of times. To not b and c is to suffer repeating anxiety and the exhausting work of trying to solve it. Thus, both ways are difficult. And that sucks. But only I can decide which way I want my existence to suck in any moment, when I do catch the signal, the psr.
Reminder 2 to self:
I need to memorize these sentences or I’ll never do them. And even when I do memorize them, it will take more suffering my anxiety before I remember to do them, and even more suffering before I even decide to do them after I remember. Even then, I’ll need more practice to do it live, in the moment. That’s the easiest way? Yup.
Reminder 3 to self:
The above two reminders are about what causes change in my brain: persistent practice that builds alternate memory centres. Change doesn’t come from judgment or punishment or encouragement or copying rules or help from another. So I’m free not to use them, and I’m especially free from needing to judge myself for not using them.
To repeat in another way: the only thing that changes my brain is seeing through the tricks my anxiety plays on me to solve itself, and disbelieving them by b and c, over and over again. Only then will I have built a new memory centre, a new planet, of bitching and complaining/deconstructing that redirects my focus onto my true response.
Reminder 4 to self:
Question
Why don’t I just say what the distraction is? It’s grief. The grief from the loss of momentum caused by the end of whatever I was just doing,
Answer
Because grief would not be a distraction if it went away instantly. While grief is brief, like all emotion, it keeps coming back in waves. While I’m feeling the grief, I’m distracted into checking how long it’s lasting. As a result, the distraction is not the grief. It’s the delay in the pleasure, the relief, of getting it over with. That delay in getting over grief from loss of momentum occurs in the instant I have to transition, that is, change, my focus, from the high return work of forming my true response to the low return work of externalizing it. In other words, to go from fun to boredom without complaint.
Reminder Summary
To take this answer back to where I started seeing. Me being distracted means I have failed to ignore when I most need to ignore. My high pain of failing to ignore is triggered by this failure. Because the pain is intense, it frightens me. To solve the fear, my brain is compelled to use psr’s to fix, not the fear, but its cause, the pain.
But, if I want to avoid disappointing myself by failing to externalize my true response, followed by my scrambling to adapt to the consequences, I must not give in to the fixing of the pain of failing to ignore. Through more repetitions than I ever feared, and in every part of my life, I must train myself to b and c until I can mechanically, like a reflex, focus on externalizing my true response.
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